Profile

---

Click Here to Help People In Need. All it takes is a click a day. None of your money, not much of your time. Just a click.

---

In late September, 1987, a scientist was performing extremely volatile experiments with science and magic, attempting to combine the 42 secret ingredients required to create a stupidity antidote. Having successfully mixed both sugar and spice, and attempting the inclusion of 'everything nice', the resulting explosion created a hole in the space-time continuum; the combination of matter and anti-matter then annihilated into Claudine's soul. Having no available body to house her existence, she was forced to wander the earth as a spirit for several years.

After a short career in taxidermy, she moved to L.A. and fought crime until the age of twelve. Afterward, Claudine finally settled down in the Arctic Circle and decided to devote her life to ridding the world of the Unicorn Menace. Her exposé on corruption in City Hall pushed her to the forefront of investigative journalism, resulting in the arrest and execution of hundreds of squirrels. At the age of sixteen Claudine was awarded a female humanoid body by the President of the World, and was now able to sustain herself with solid food instead of her former diet, which had consisted of quiet angst and tears.

Since then, she has attempted to date men (unsuccessfully), women (also unsuccessfully), and superheroes (marginally more successfully), but has largely devoted her time to sitting at home eating Cheetos and watching science fiction on the telly. On Wednesday nights she becomes the Purple Power Ranger and saves lives; on Thursdays she bands together with her friend Pinky and together, they try to take over the world.

Presently, Claudine is attempting to harness the power of her mind so that she can set things on fire with her brain, allowing her an additional advantage in her quest for world domination. Specialists have predicted that she will be successful in her goals before 2078, although they are unwilling to speculate as to whether or not she will be considered "evil".

---

I write poems, some of which are posted here (and are access-only). I also write short stories, and for the most part my prose is generally unoffensive to my delicate sensitivities. This means that I don't hate the writing, not that the subject or story in itself is unoffensive - I like offending people.

I have participated in NaNoWriMo for 3 years, and have won every time, although I hate my NaNo novels so much that I would never consider having them published, without... a LOT of work.

I write for several fandoms. My main interests are Stargate Atlantis and Merlin, although I used to be very interested in Harry Potter fanfiction.

Recently I've branched out and written stories for Entourage, Firefly/Serenity, Gravitation, Jennifer Crusie's Novels, Metalocalypse, Screech Owls, Sky High, Spiderman Movieverse, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Reboot, Stargate:SG-1, Superman movieverse, Supernatural, Veronica Mars, and the X-Men movieverse. Yup, that's a lot of fandoms, and there are more coming soon! (Things to look forward to-- Star Trek: The Original Series, High School Musical, Galaxy Quest)

This is a journal entirely for my writing - original and fanfiction. Original fiction is 95% access-only, and will most likely only be posted publicly if its been posted somewhere else as well.

---